Quote #31

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks. so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Quote #30

The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy the waking hours much more.

Quote #29

There are more love songs than anything else.
If songs could make you do something we'd all love one another.

Quote #28

I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations that I've travelled to. But first, I'm gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map so that it will not fall off the wall.

Quote #27

You know the oxygen masks on airplanes?
I don't think there's really any oxygen.
I think they're just to muffle the screams.

Quote #26

Without music to decorate it, time is just a bunch of boring production deadlines or dates by which bills must be paid.

Quote #25

I am a marvelous housekeeper.
Every time I leave a man, I keep his house.

Quote #24

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car!

Quote #23

Women are like elephants to me: nice to look at, but I wouldn't want to own one.

Quote #22

If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.